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I sometimes forget how smart I am until something happens to remind me. You know what I mean. We do the same things every day, rarely being presented with a new challenge (or an old one that we think we forgot how to do) and master it and then remember that we are, indeed, the shit. It's like the Black Eyed Peas say, "My mama's always saying 'My baby's a genius'!". Or, to quote Mos Def, "I am the Earth, wind, fire and the thunda. You don't believe me? Go ask my Mama!"
I had one of those moments today. I had to give a presentation with my boss and another attorney and I did a pretty good job. I wasn't as prepared as I should have been but luckily, I'm great at cold reads thanks to years of theatre and I think fast (when I'm speaking in public. If someone insults me it'll take me weeks to think of a comeback) so I was able to pull together a pretty convincing presentation. Yaay me.
In other news, yesterday was a pretty fantabulous day. I can now officially pay for my last year of law school (thanks Uncle Sam!), I have secured a lovely place to stay with a coworker and her husband (because I work for the best people ever) and I now have three new sources of income that wont'be too shabby for my last month in Cambodia. I'm not making it rain or anything, but I will be swimming in potatoes and pasta.
This weekend my roommate and I have to pack and move. I'm leaving the apartment, she's leaving the country. So sad! Becky has been an awesome roommate, I'm so sad she has to go! Hopefully the next four weeks will fly by and then I'll be on my way to Africaaaa!!!!
Woohoo!
Travel well,
kat
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Friday, July 31, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Tuk-tuk relationships
One of the interesting dynamics in Cambodia is the relationship that a person has with their moto or tuk-tuk driver. Once a man drives a westerner to a specific location they will do anything they can to become the regular driver. They'll wait outside of restaurants even when you ask them not to. They'll insist on not getting paid until you come back from wherever it is they dropped you off, so you're obligated to ride them home. They'll even show up outside of your house every morning and your workplace every afternoon, hoping you'll let them give you a ride. And don't even think about trying to walk down the street. They'll yell at you, they'll follow you, they'll occasionally curse at you as you pass them by. And once they have you, they become very possessive. One of my co-workers got stuck with an old man who didn't know his way around town. She left Cambodia and when she came back months later, he found her, and she now has to sneak around to take a tuk-tuk driver who knows what he's doing.My driver was Jack. Yes, was. I'll get to that soon. For the first month that I was here, Jack was great. I'm sure I've written about him. Funny, kind, super responsible. He was a great driver. I paid him an exorbitant price to take me to work and back every day. Seriously, $25 a week. He also drove my friends and I around on the weekends for an extra price. When I went to Siem Reap I found a couple of girls who were on their way to PP and made sure they got him to drive them around town when they got there and I always made sure that my friends here took him when they needed a ride.
Sometime after the first month Jack had some sort of emergency and disappeared for a few days. He arranged for a friend to pick me up like he always does. He showed up a day later than he said he would with red eyes and looking exhausted. After that he started to change. He used to change clothes at least twice a day, now he wears the same clothes sometimes two or three days in a row. His eyes are red all of the time. He has yelled at me at least twice, and I mean yelled. He has constantly been late to pick me up, and lately I have had to wait 20 minutes or more for him to pick me up at work. It's been getting ridiculous. I have wanted to fire him but after he yelled at me the first time I told him not to pick me up the next day and he got a terrified look in his eyes and started apologizing profusely. I hated the feeling that someone's livelihood was dependent on me. It was terrible and I felt guilty, so I didn't fire him. And I put up with his awfulness and irresponsibility because hey, it's Cambodia, everything sucks.
After I realized how broke I am I started walking home from work and paying him half. He never said anything to me, although I tried to explain that I was running out of money and needed to cut back (he pretended he didn't understand) but I could tell that he wasn't happy. Finally, this week took the cake. I paid him for the week and he seemed fine. Then he called me a few minutes after he drove away and started yelling at me. He yelled that I didn't pay him enough, that I didn't pay him for Saturday (this confused me because he drove my friends and I for about half a day and we payed him $12, quite more than it would have cost with anyone else), and a host of other things that I didn't understand. When I broke down the cost of each ride and how many rides he had given me over the week I realized that I had miscalculated and owed him $1. ONE DOLLAR!!! However, he wasn't happy with this and, although he couldn't tell me how much I owed him or why he was even calling, he wouldn't except my math-based answer for why I had paid him the same rate that I have paid him for two months. We ended by agreeing- not amicably- that he wouldn't drive me anymore. I'm relieved because every day I have wanted to fire him and every day I haven't because I feel guilty. I'm also angry because someone who I have been so good to and given so much money to (at least $200 myself plus all of the work I've sent him. The average salary in this country is $290 a year and most days, I was his only customer) tried to cheat me. My feelings are also hurt because the more I try to help people the more I get screwed. Basically, I'm just upset.
From now on, no more regular drivers. I think I'll start walking to work and back. It's cheaper, healthier, and will avoid getting my feelings hurt.
Travel well,
kat
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Angela Davis, Can You Hear Me?
**This post has been amended. There is now nothing in here that could get me arrested.**
Some things will never change.
While out last night, after watching a particularly powerful film about video journalists inBurma Malaysia Africa even when I'm with a large group of Americans, when Girl B at the table cut in, "That's not true, I don't believe that."
Really?
Here I am, telling you my personal experiences and about certain negative things that have happened to me, and you're calling me out in disbelief? See, this is why we don't talk to white people. If you came up to me and said that while inSiberia you had been abducted by tiny pink aliens, I wouldn't call you a liar. I might think you're crazy, I might run away before you abduct me, but I'm going to accept that this is your personal experience and that, at least in your mind, you really were abducted. Just like none of us had a problem believing that the gorgeous blonde girl gets scared when people laugh at and taunt her. But I guess to you, Black women aren't supposed to get scared or something? Or maybe you really think that when people from other countries look at us, they just automatically assume that we're Americans. Because, you know, that's likely. The insults continued when Girl C, after Girl A and I brought up that these kinds of things happen all over Asia, battled me in her insistence that these things do not happen in Japan (she lived there for two years) and that she knew Black people in Japan (probably one dude) who neeeever had any problems, so I must be wrong. Right. Because Black folk are going to be more honest with you than with me. Because you probably know more Black people than I do and have far more discussions about race and experience which are far more frank and understanding that I ever would. Because everyone is as honest in mixed company as I am.
Right.
And this is exactly why we're not honest. Because you don't really want to know. It's just so much easier to call me a liar to my face. And the funny thing is that I wasn't even angry about the situation. I was trying to explain (and this is how the conversation started) that it's perfectly understandable that Cambodians would be uncomfortable around us. It doesn't make things any easier for me personally, but when our kind of people aren't visiting certain areas in any kind of numbers and all they see of us are the negative Hollywood images in the media, what the hell are people supposed to think? There are no native Black folk inAsia . And to be honest, if we only get one $2000 trip of a lifetime, most of us are heading to the motherland. So it makes perfect sense that uneducated, untraveled, and unexperienced (I know, I made those last two words up) people from a pretty damn homogenous nation (in the Western sense, it is extremely diverse in Asian ethnicities) would have certain perceptions about us. And honestly, it even makes sense that they would think I am from Africa . There are more Nigerians here than anything.
I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. From them. From Cambodians. But from white folk fromOhio
Somebody find me a black leather jacket. I'm donning an afro and pumping my fist in the air on the regular. I can't wait til I get toAfrica .
*********UPDATE*********
I guess Angela heard me because when I got to work this is the first article I saw
While out last night, after watching a particularly powerful film about video journalists in
Really?
Here I am, telling you my personal experiences and about certain negative things that have happened to me, and you're calling me out in disbelief? See, this is why we don't talk to white people. If you came up to me and said that while in
Right.
And this is exactly why we're not honest. Because you don't really want to know. It's just so much easier to call me a liar to my face. And the funny thing is that I wasn't even angry about the situation. I was trying to explain (and this is how the conversation started) that it's perfectly understandable that Cambodians would be uncomfortable around us. It doesn't make things any easier for me personally, but when our kind of people aren't visiting certain areas in any kind of numbers and all they see of us are the negative Hollywood images in the media, what the hell are people supposed to think? There are no native Black folk in
I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. From them. From Cambodians. But from white folk from
Somebody find me a black leather jacket. I'm donning an afro and pumping my fist in the air on the regular. I can't wait til I get to
*********UPDATE*********
I guess Angela heard me because when I got to work this is the first article I saw
**This is where "Leave Skip Alone" belongs. Sorry for the confusion but I just wasn't happy not having this up."
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Free Documentaries and Good Food!
The other night some friends and I went to an awesome place called the Meta House in downtown Phnom Penh. Meta House is a Goethe Institute supported art and media center that educates young Cambodians and offers free art and entertainment to the masses (their "About Me" page does much more justice to the place than I ever could). Meta houses (unavoidable pun) some really fantastic contemporary art on the first two floors, mostly that of Cambodian artists. On top of the building is a bar that serves really excellent food, about ten rows of really comfy black leather movie seats, and a big screen. Here, Meta House shows documentaries, Cambodian films, and films set in Asia, to name a few. It's quite an enjoyable and inspiring space.
We were there to see a documentary called Burma VJ, about a group of incredibly brave video reporters fighting to tell their story. The film itself was moving, depressing, and highly emotional, but Meta House was the perfect space in which to experience it.
It's surprising but even in Phnom Penh there are surprises around the corner and places like the Meta house make you feel like maybe there is hope for democracy, art, and modernity after all.
Travel well,
kat
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We were there to see a documentary called Burma VJ, about a group of incredibly brave video reporters fighting to tell their story. The film itself was moving, depressing, and highly emotional, but Meta House was the perfect space in which to experience it.
It's surprising but even in Phnom Penh there are surprises around the corner and places like the Meta house make you feel like maybe there is hope for democracy, art, and modernity after all.
Travel well,
kat
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Censored by My Own Mother
I had a couple of great posts up here but my mom had a heart attack and yelled at me in ALL CAPS so I took them down so I wouldn't be subjected to written abuse for the next month and a half. But they were gooood, and you missed out! I'll put them back up when I get to Africa.
Travel well,
kat
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kat
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Monday, July 20, 2009
Leave Skip Alone!
Leave Skip Gates Alone!! Read the comments and follow the links. I could comment further but I won't. Except to say, who is this Lucia Whalen person? And did she not know that one of the preeminent African American scholars of our time lives across the STREET from her? Has she never taken over a basket of muffins and introduced herself? I've met Skip Gates. He's about as scary as Cornel West. Small, old, extraordinarily dignified, and walks with a CANE!! The scariest one out of the three is Dr. Ogletree, which is hilarious. I wish I could have seen the look on the policeman's face when the tall, dark, and brilliant attorney walked in to retrieve his client. He's like the black Perry Mason. I've met all three of them and I have to say, Ogletree looks like he could break into a house. Gates would have to beat the house with his cane and West would probably just excite the house to death. This is ridiculous. I'll stay off of my "this is why police men need to be educated and better paid" soapbox, but I think you see my point. I promised I wasn't going to rant but I can't help it. This just ties right in with the post I wrote earlier.
argh.
Travel well,
kat
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argh.
Travel well,
kat
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
Send a BAP to Antartica!
No, not me. Danielle at Urban Science Adventures! Danielle is a BAP, a biologist, and a blogger with a dream. She wants to win the Quark Expeditions free cruise to Antartica! One of my greatest dreams is to go to Antartica some day but I think the people who should go first are the scientists and teachers who are going to help us figure out how to save it. And Al Gore. To that end, Danielle is a fabulous black woman who teaches kids about science in their urban environments. How cool is that? I can't think of a better candidate for a trip to Antartica than a black female scientist who works with kids, can you? I really really want Danielle to win (and no, I don't know her, I was just inspired by her essay and her blog) and I hope you vote for her. It takes about two seconds to go to her page on the site and click vote. Then you'll have to register, which takes five seconds, they'll send a confirmation email in about 15 seconds, you click the confirmation link, and your vote has been cast! And Danielle is in 7th place so it's not even hopeless!
Please vote for Danielle, read her blog, and support a traveling BAP scientist!
Blog Your Way To Antartica
Thanks all!
Please vote for Danielle, read her blog, and support a traveling BAP scientist!
Blog Your Way To Antartica
Thanks all!
p.s. For a really great post about Danielle, visit Frumpzilla's blog here.
Travel well,
kat
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Travel well,
kat
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Photo Friday (It's Friday for Me, Thursday for You...)
I haven't posted any pictures on the last couple of posts, mostly because the internet in my apartment wasn't working so I had to use the computers at work. So, here are some random photos to enjoy!
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Monkey on a Wire
Creative Tuk-Tuk Driver in Siem Reap
Random Elephant on a Busy Street
Dancers in a Traditional Performance
Having fun at a Pool Party
Travel well,
kat
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
New Indie Travel Post!
My new Indie Travel Podcast article just went live! You're going to love this one (if I do say so myself), it's about how much fun it was traveling to Angkor Wat by myself! Please visit and tell me what you think of the article, and while you're there, subscribe to the new Indie Travel Magazine! It's free if you get it online and I may even have an article or two in there!
Thanks so much, and enjoy!
Travel well,
kat
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Thanks so much, and enjoy!
Travel well,
kat
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Happy Anniversary!!!
I can't believe it. I have actually had this blog longer than most of my cars. One year!! Amazing. It was so unexpected that I didn't even realize this until a few days after the actual anniversary! When I started this blog last summer because I was bored to tears at my law firm and wanted to do something that I really cared about, I never imagined what the next year would bring. I never thought I would be working on the writing career that I've always wanted. Or crossing two new continents off my list. Or that we'd have a Black President. Or lose Michael Jackson. As always, every high comes with a low, and it always evens out to one fabulous- and never boring- life. After listing all of my travels over the last year I cannot believe how lucky I've been or how much fun I have had. I have also figured out why I'm so broke...
From July to July I have:
*Summered in Seattle
*Partied in Vegas with my aunt
*Road tripped across the country with my mom
*Celebrated my 25th birthday in Orlando
*Worked elections in Ohio
*Holidayed with the fam in AZ
*Frozen in Montreal
*Welcomed the New Year in New York
*Started writing for Indie Travel Guides
*Watched Obama get inaugurated
*Spent 10 days with good friends in Miami and the Keys
*Finished my second year of law school
*Watched my mom get her second master's degree on the National Mall
*Moved to Cambodia to work for UNICEF
Wow. Even I am amazed, and I never think anything I do is all that great! And what's unbelievable is that the next year promises to be just as exciting! I still have a few weeks in Cambodia, then I'm headed to Thailand for a month (I think, my plans change every day...), and then I'm going to AFRICAAAA for 5 months!! I really can't believe that one. And in May I will finally, finally, finally graduate from law school. Holla!!!! I may never read another book as long as I live, but I'll finally be done. After graduation, if all goes as planned, I may be working at a McDonald's near you! (I'm only half kidding).
Even more unbelievable than all of the places that I have been and all of the things that I have been able to do are the fact that people actually want to read about it! When I started the blog I thought the only readers would be me and my mom but you folks are actually out there tuning in! I've met great new people like Beth, Ananda, and Danielle who I have loved working with, I've read the encouraging comments from readers who clue me in on things I didn't know existed (Busuu!!) and my statistics counter tells me that there are even more people out there who I don't even know about. Thank you thank you thank you for reading. I'll keep trying to tell my story and looking forward to hearing all of yours.
Happy Anniversary!
Thanks so much and travel well!
kat
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From July to July I have:
*Summered in Seattle
*Partied in Vegas with my aunt
*Road tripped across the country with my mom
*Celebrated my 25th birthday in Orlando
*Worked elections in Ohio
*Holidayed with the fam in AZ
*Frozen in Montreal
*Welcomed the New Year in New York
*Started writing for Indie Travel Guides
*Watched Obama get inaugurated
*Spent 10 days with good friends in Miami and the Keys
*Finished my second year of law school
*Watched my mom get her second master's degree on the National Mall
*Moved to Cambodia to work for UNICEF
Wow. Even I am amazed, and I never think anything I do is all that great! And what's unbelievable is that the next year promises to be just as exciting! I still have a few weeks in Cambodia, then I'm headed to Thailand for a month (I think, my plans change every day...), and then I'm going to AFRICAAAA for 5 months!! I really can't believe that one. And in May I will finally, finally, finally graduate from law school. Holla!!!! I may never read another book as long as I live, but I'll finally be done. After graduation, if all goes as planned, I may be working at a McDonald's near you! (I'm only half kidding).
Even more unbelievable than all of the places that I have been and all of the things that I have been able to do are the fact that people actually want to read about it! When I started the blog I thought the only readers would be me and my mom but you folks are actually out there tuning in! I've met great new people like Beth, Ananda, and Danielle who I have loved working with, I've read the encouraging comments from readers who clue me in on things I didn't know existed (Busuu!!) and my statistics counter tells me that there are even more people out there who I don't even know about. Thank you thank you thank you for reading. I'll keep trying to tell my story and looking forward to hearing all of yours.
Happy Anniversary!
Thanks so much and travel well!
kat
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Saturday, July 11, 2009
#37
I've moved again! Don't worry, this was always in the plans. My two roommates from #27 have left or are leaving Cambodia and all of us were moving out of the apartment on Friday. So now I'm rooming with a friend who's two other roommates conveniently decided to leave early, leaving a room open for me!
I like the new place. It has an elevator, which is key. It's in a new part of town so I get to explore some new places, and I have hot water, which is absolutely thrilling after 2 1/2 months of cold showers. I'm also glad because it's either closer to work, which means a shorter walk for me, or further, which means better exercise... Here are some pictures. Excuse the mess, there's no housekeeper and no cleaning supplies!
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I like the new place. It has an elevator, which is key. It's in a new part of town so I get to explore some new places, and I have hot water, which is absolutely thrilling after 2 1/2 months of cold showers. I'm also glad because it's either closer to work, which means a shorter walk for me, or further, which means better exercise... Here are some pictures. Excuse the mess, there's no housekeeper and no cleaning supplies!
view from the balcony
the kitchen
the bedroom
the living room
Besides hot water we have wifi (the girls had it installed when they moved here), A/C, a tiny balcony, a roof that is only good for parties, and the usual gas stove with the gas tank that you have to turn on and off (we had this at my last apartment too). There are also security guards downstairs and bars on the windows (so I'm safe mom) and I'm on the sixty floor (so I'm really safe mom). It's a nice place. It's weird being indoors again after my last apartment, which was basically a balcony with rooms but I like it.
Less than a month left... and then, who knows?
Travel well!
kat
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Thursday, July 9, 2009
Honesty
**WARNING- THIS IS A VERY LONG RANT, FORGIVE ME**
People want travel to always be fun, always be exciting, always be an adventure. It's easy to imagine that when you're in a new place, be it Paris or Paraguay, that it just absolutely has to be the greatest thing you've done. After all, it would be insensitive, uncultured, and soooo "American" to dare to dislike something. Keeping this in mind, I have been trying to convince myself that I like, understand, or a least respect everything that I have experienced here in Cambodia. Finally, it hit me. The reason that I like short-term living, the reason I want to live, work, play, and survive in a new place is because I want to see what life is really like in a country, not the Contiki tour version of a place. But the plain fact is that it's impossible to like everything. Some people really don't like Los Angeles. I can't imagine why, I think LA kicks ass. But some people hate it, and no one thinks they're bad people for this (except, perhaps, for people from LA), it's just understood that you can't like everything. Some people love the majesty of Alaska, some people won't like any place that spawned Sarah Palin. Some people love Miami, some people don't like sun, fun, and good food. To each his own.
That being said, the benefit of having lived in a place even for a few months (or weeks sometimes) is that you can get enough of a feel for the town or country to understand how you really feel about it. As you have probably guessed by now, I haev decided that I do not like Cambodia.
Pause for reaction.
It's terrible, I know. I wasn't going to say anything. But after sending my friend a very long accidental rant on the subject, I realized that the point of this blog isn't to be politically correct and sell people on a false idea of travel, it's to be honest so that people can understand exactly what travel is like, and why you should do it anyways. So, let me try to explain:
The people, for perfectly understandable reasons considering what they've been through, are polite, but not friendly. I know that Americans are known for our boisterous good spirits and (lately fading) excellent customer service and that may be one thing that bothers other people about us, but I love it. We're friendly. We smile, we laugh, we enjoy each other's company. We've also had it pretty easy, which allows us a little leeway in the emotions department. I understand that, I do. But I miss being in a happy society. It's true that most Cambodians don't have much to be happy about, I get that. I'm not saying with any of this that I don't understand why things are the way they are. I'm just saying that I miss happiness. I would visit Bhutan if their tourist visa wasn't $200/day. They have a national happiness index.
It is also weird being different in such a homogeneous society. Being a minority at home isn't a big deal because everyone is used to seeing black folk or at least know we exist. Here, they stare every day, the men make loud comments in Khmer as I pass, they ask to take pictures with me, they point and laugh, it's awful. Cambodians, although incredibly diverse among Asians, only see non-Asians when they come as expats or tourists. And there aren’t a lot of black people in that group. So it's something of a spectacle every time I walk by.
Maybe it’s that the city is so much more expensive than I expected. I’ve already spent my 3 month budget in one month and it’s horrible that even in a developing country I’m pinching pennies and thinking about money. This is what happens when a city is built around over-priced expats, there’s no need to be cheap. I have seen apartments in Phnom Penh that are half as small and twice as expensive as anything in Ann Arbor. I have eaten meals that taste like they cost one-third of the $8 I paid. It’s easy to spend too much just to eat and live and yet feel guilty at the same time because there are children living on the streets. But there are really two ways to go: live on the street with them or pay the exorbitant costs that it takes to live here. There is no middle class in Cambodia, and no middle way to live.
I’m quite sure that a lot of my dislike comes from constantly stepping over garbage, breathing in dirt and smoke, and having to drink bottled water. It’s not even easy when you’re accustomed to it but for those of us who are used to the developed way of doing things, it’s morale-busting to constantly be reminded of the poverty and filth around you. Yesterday I saw a little girl pull down her pants and defecate on the sidewalk. I didn’t even think twice about it. This weekend a friend and I sat on the balcony of FCC and watched a group of boys get higher and higher as they sniffed glue out of plastic bags. We watched as they began painting their faces with a white paint they had found in the garbage on the road and grabbing the breasts of a white woman before chasing a little Cambodian girl. The white woman was lucky, they’ll never hurt her. The Cambodian girl is a different story. Living like this is mind-warping.
It's exhausting being asked for money all of the time. I can't walk down the street without ten men offering to give me a ride and treating me like I'm taking food from the mouths of their children when I say no. Which I probably am. I've never felt guilty just for walking before. We can’t eat without being attacked every five minutes by a hideously deformed man, several children selling baskets of books, and women with babies swaddled in kramas (the cotton scarves that they use for everything), all begging for money, our food, anything. It’s exhausting.
I think, most of all, I am so frustrated by the NGO process. I adore the people I’m working with, I think they’re amazing and doing great things. But the Cambodian economy, politics, judicial system, everything, is entirely dependent on foreign money, foreign guidance, foreign control. The local government is worse than pathetic and the international governments won't work together. Siem Reap (home of Angkor Wat) is the wealthiest city in Cambodia but the province is one of the poorest. It’s New Orleans all over again. Where does the tourist money go? Somebody’s pocket, but not the 9th Ward in Louisiana and not the villages of Cambodia. It’s frustrating. I don’t mind spending my life living in poverty, surviving in shitty places if I really do feel I am making a difference. But I can’t spend the next 30 years working in hopeless situations knowing that when I leave, everything will be the same.
I don’t even like Khmer food! It’s bland and tasteless, nothing like delicious Thai and Vietnamese. The only Khmer dish that I like, Fish Amok, is an Indian-inspired curry dish. Like most things in Cambodia, there's no art to the dishes, no tradition, no depth or feeling in the food. They don't like anything spicy so everything tastes the same. Occassionally they may thrown in a tongue-numbing chili pepper but that's just hot for the sake of hot, not for the sake of flavour. There's a reason why you can order Thai or Chinese anywhere in the States but not Khmer. Not to mention that now that I've seen meat rotting on a stand on the side of the road before the locals buy and cook it, I understand why my friends and I have all gotten sick after eating what someone made us.
I'm sorry if this isn't that happy, positive, sun shiny post that you're all used to, but today I felt the need to be honest. I'm not quitting like some of the other girls have, but I don't want to be here anymore. I know I'll somehow survive August and my first few weeks in Africa with no money, but I'm scared and worried and wish I wasn't alone. I've had a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, but I can't go to a party and forget the 50 people begging outside. This internship has been amazing and I have a much better idea of what I want to do with my life, but I'm tired of sitting in a cubicle all day starting at a computer.
Travel isn't always fun, but it's always educational. We learn about ourselves most during the trials and challenges, we learn what we can survive, what we can't, what our limits are. The hard times are the most worthy reasons to strike out on your own. But it's isn't easy.
Thanks for listening. I feel much better.
Travel well,
kat
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People want travel to always be fun, always be exciting, always be an adventure. It's easy to imagine that when you're in a new place, be it Paris or Paraguay, that it just absolutely has to be the greatest thing you've done. After all, it would be insensitive, uncultured, and soooo "American" to dare to dislike something. Keeping this in mind, I have been trying to convince myself that I like, understand, or a least respect everything that I have experienced here in Cambodia. Finally, it hit me. The reason that I like short-term living, the reason I want to live, work, play, and survive in a new place is because I want to see what life is really like in a country, not the Contiki tour version of a place. But the plain fact is that it's impossible to like everything. Some people really don't like Los Angeles. I can't imagine why, I think LA kicks ass. But some people hate it, and no one thinks they're bad people for this (except, perhaps, for people from LA), it's just understood that you can't like everything. Some people love the majesty of Alaska, some people won't like any place that spawned Sarah Palin. Some people love Miami, some people don't like sun, fun, and good food. To each his own.
That being said, the benefit of having lived in a place even for a few months (or weeks sometimes) is that you can get enough of a feel for the town or country to understand how you really feel about it. As you have probably guessed by now, I haev decided that I do not like Cambodia.
Pause for reaction.
It's terrible, I know. I wasn't going to say anything. But after sending my friend a very long accidental rant on the subject, I realized that the point of this blog isn't to be politically correct and sell people on a false idea of travel, it's to be honest so that people can understand exactly what travel is like, and why you should do it anyways. So, let me try to explain:
The people, for perfectly understandable reasons considering what they've been through, are polite, but not friendly. I know that Americans are known for our boisterous good spirits and (lately fading) excellent customer service and that may be one thing that bothers other people about us, but I love it. We're friendly. We smile, we laugh, we enjoy each other's company. We've also had it pretty easy, which allows us a little leeway in the emotions department. I understand that, I do. But I miss being in a happy society. It's true that most Cambodians don't have much to be happy about, I get that. I'm not saying with any of this that I don't understand why things are the way they are. I'm just saying that I miss happiness. I would visit Bhutan if their tourist visa wasn't $200/day. They have a national happiness index.
It is also weird being different in such a homogeneous society. Being a minority at home isn't a big deal because everyone is used to seeing black folk or at least know we exist. Here, they stare every day, the men make loud comments in Khmer as I pass, they ask to take pictures with me, they point and laugh, it's awful. Cambodians, although incredibly diverse among Asians, only see non-Asians when they come as expats or tourists. And there aren’t a lot of black people in that group. So it's something of a spectacle every time I walk by.
Maybe it’s that the city is so much more expensive than I expected. I’ve already spent my 3 month budget in one month and it’s horrible that even in a developing country I’m pinching pennies and thinking about money. This is what happens when a city is built around over-priced expats, there’s no need to be cheap. I have seen apartments in Phnom Penh that are half as small and twice as expensive as anything in Ann Arbor. I have eaten meals that taste like they cost one-third of the $8 I paid. It’s easy to spend too much just to eat and live and yet feel guilty at the same time because there are children living on the streets. But there are really two ways to go: live on the street with them or pay the exorbitant costs that it takes to live here. There is no middle class in Cambodia, and no middle way to live.
I’m quite sure that a lot of my dislike comes from constantly stepping over garbage, breathing in dirt and smoke, and having to drink bottled water. It’s not even easy when you’re accustomed to it but for those of us who are used to the developed way of doing things, it’s morale-busting to constantly be reminded of the poverty and filth around you. Yesterday I saw a little girl pull down her pants and defecate on the sidewalk. I didn’t even think twice about it. This weekend a friend and I sat on the balcony of FCC and watched a group of boys get higher and higher as they sniffed glue out of plastic bags. We watched as they began painting their faces with a white paint they had found in the garbage on the road and grabbing the breasts of a white woman before chasing a little Cambodian girl. The white woman was lucky, they’ll never hurt her. The Cambodian girl is a different story. Living like this is mind-warping.
It's exhausting being asked for money all of the time. I can't walk down the street without ten men offering to give me a ride and treating me like I'm taking food from the mouths of their children when I say no. Which I probably am. I've never felt guilty just for walking before. We can’t eat without being attacked every five minutes by a hideously deformed man, several children selling baskets of books, and women with babies swaddled in kramas (the cotton scarves that they use for everything), all begging for money, our food, anything. It’s exhausting.
I think, most of all, I am so frustrated by the NGO process. I adore the people I’m working with, I think they’re amazing and doing great things. But the Cambodian economy, politics, judicial system, everything, is entirely dependent on foreign money, foreign guidance, foreign control. The local government is worse than pathetic and the international governments won't work together. Siem Reap (home of Angkor Wat) is the wealthiest city in Cambodia but the province is one of the poorest. It’s New Orleans all over again. Where does the tourist money go? Somebody’s pocket, but not the 9th Ward in Louisiana and not the villages of Cambodia. It’s frustrating. I don’t mind spending my life living in poverty, surviving in shitty places if I really do feel I am making a difference. But I can’t spend the next 30 years working in hopeless situations knowing that when I leave, everything will be the same.
I don’t even like Khmer food! It’s bland and tasteless, nothing like delicious Thai and Vietnamese. The only Khmer dish that I like, Fish Amok, is an Indian-inspired curry dish. Like most things in Cambodia, there's no art to the dishes, no tradition, no depth or feeling in the food. They don't like anything spicy so everything tastes the same. Occassionally they may thrown in a tongue-numbing chili pepper but that's just hot for the sake of hot, not for the sake of flavour. There's a reason why you can order Thai or Chinese anywhere in the States but not Khmer. Not to mention that now that I've seen meat rotting on a stand on the side of the road before the locals buy and cook it, I understand why my friends and I have all gotten sick after eating what someone made us.
I'm sorry if this isn't that happy, positive, sun shiny post that you're all used to, but today I felt the need to be honest. I'm not quitting like some of the other girls have, but I don't want to be here anymore. I know I'll somehow survive August and my first few weeks in Africa with no money, but I'm scared and worried and wish I wasn't alone. I've had a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, but I can't go to a party and forget the 50 people begging outside. This internship has been amazing and I have a much better idea of what I want to do with my life, but I'm tired of sitting in a cubicle all day starting at a computer.
Travel isn't always fun, but it's always educational. We learn about ourselves most during the trials and challenges, we learn what we can survive, what we can't, what our limits are. The hard times are the most worthy reasons to strike out on your own. But it's isn't easy.
Thanks for listening. I feel much better.
Travel well,
kat
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Monday, July 6, 2009
Her Journey Mag & Me
Well, the faaabulous Danielle at Her Journey Mag has done it again! The new issue is gorgeous. The articles are fun, the layout is thrilling and... oh yeah, I'm in it!! My article about South Beach looks so much better in the zine than when I wrote it! Ah, the power of a good editor. This mag will definitely brighten your day, and the best part is, by reading it you can support like, 5 young BAPs at the same time! Amazing!
Travel well,
kat
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Sunday, July 5, 2009
New Kimsray Video!!
Well, I've put my non-Tarantino skills to use yet again and edited a video of Kimsray talking about her past, her present, and her hopes for the future. Visit sendkimsraytocollege.blogspot.com and watch the video! Maybe she'll inspire you to donate!
Travel well,
kat
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Travel well,
kat
Like this post? Subscribe for more travel tips, stories, and reviews!
Boo to the Embassy!
I was so excited for July 4th. Independence Day has always been my favourite holiday and what with being away from home and my impending financial troubles, I was really looking forward to one day of celebrating and feeling at home.
Unfortunately, this was not in the stars.
The day started with an enormous thunderstorm, dashing all of my hopes for fireworks. After surviving the humid drive to the embassy, I was relieved to find that all of my friends were arriving at the same time. We entered through the ridiculous security gates and finally got our first glimpse of the festivities. I immediately knew we were in trouble.
The decorations, somewhere in between patriotic and garish, were only the beginning. Add to that the Cambodian band singing “My Humps” and the vendors selling overpriced food and my friend and I knew we wouldn’t be staying long. We decided to walk around and see what there was to see, but unfortunately, there wasn’t much. A few tables selling “Democrats in Cambodia” t-shirts- which were very cool- and U.S. Embassy hats, caps, and shirts stood on one side. The vendors were on the other. In between there was a bad band and a few tables. That was it. Oh yeah, except for the stage constructed specially for the HOT DOG EATING CONTEST!!! Yes people, the embassy has an annual competition for the biggest glutton in a developing country. You have GOT to be kidding me.
This was more than I could take and Becca and I left pretty quickly. I was so upset! To make ourselves feel better, we walked to the riverfront and went to The Quay/Chow, a fabulously chic hotel, restaurant, and rooftop bar. We had ½ off drinks (Happy Hour extends through the weekends in Cambodia) and yummy appetizers until the rain forced us under cover. As soon as it stopped we moved to Touk, across the street from FCC. The manager is a friend of my roommate’s and I had met her the night before. Touk was so much fun. The pizza is amazing and there was live music by two really cool expats. We hung out with one of them for a bit, he works for the UN and is super nice. He and the manager insisted on telling me a lot of Cambodia horror stories about foreigners getting shot and thrown in to the river or how many moto accidents they’ve been in and how many times they’ve been robbed. Good times. But then the music started again. They played a lot of old classics and by the end of the night I felt much better. At least I had a nice July 4th and met some good people. But boo to the embassy!!
Unfortunately, this was not in the stars.
The day started with an enormous thunderstorm, dashing all of my hopes for fireworks. After surviving the humid drive to the embassy, I was relieved to find that all of my friends were arriving at the same time. We entered through the ridiculous security gates and finally got our first glimpse of the festivities. I immediately knew we were in trouble.
The decorations, somewhere in between patriotic and garish, were only the beginning. Add to that the Cambodian band singing “My Humps” and the vendors selling overpriced food and my friend and I knew we wouldn’t be staying long. We decided to walk around and see what there was to see, but unfortunately, there wasn’t much. A few tables selling “Democrats in Cambodia” t-shirts- which were very cool- and U.S. Embassy hats, caps, and shirts stood on one side. The vendors were on the other. In between there was a bad band and a few tables. That was it. Oh yeah, except for the stage constructed specially for the HOT DOG EATING CONTEST!!! Yes people, the embassy has an annual competition for the biggest glutton in a developing country. You have GOT to be kidding me.
This was more than I could take and Becca and I left pretty quickly. I was so upset! To make ourselves feel better, we walked to the riverfront and went to The Quay/Chow, a fabulously chic hotel, restaurant, and rooftop bar. We had ½ off drinks (Happy Hour extends through the weekends in Cambodia) and yummy appetizers until the rain forced us under cover. As soon as it stopped we moved to Touk, across the street from FCC. The manager is a friend of my roommate’s and I had met her the night before. Touk was so much fun. The pizza is amazing and there was live music by two really cool expats. We hung out with one of them for a bit, he works for the UN and is super nice. He and the manager insisted on telling me a lot of Cambodia horror stories about foreigners getting shot and thrown in to the river or how many moto accidents they’ve been in and how many times they’ve been robbed. Good times. But then the music started again. They played a lot of old classics and by the end of the night I felt much better. At least I had a nice July 4th and met some good people. But boo to the embassy!!
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